When did life become so busy?  It seems like the summer is busier than during the school year. Everyday we have something going on.  I feel like I need a vacation from summer vacation!  With school starting soon, I have GOT to get organized.  I also need some motivation!  I seriously lack motivation these days.  This year we kind of got off track with school when my mom came to stay with us.  She has been a huge blessing, HOWEVER, I have somehow become sidetracked and my mind hasn't been focused on school.  In May, I went to the North Carolinians for Home Education conference in Winston-Salem with a friend.  That was just what I needed to feel refreshed.  After the last year of homeschooling, we began discussing other options for our 14 year old.  It seems that she's becoming somewhat of an introvert.  She's never been that way.  From the time she could talk, she's been very social.  It took a lot of prayer, and that trip to make the decision that we needed to continue this marathon.  When we (I mean me!) looked at the good and bad of each path we could take, it made complete sense to stay on the homeschool track.  For some reason, though, I had it in my head that we weren't doing enough for her.  The younger children are fine.  I don't worry about them because they are around other kids daily.  I've never had a teenager.....this would explain why I don't know what to do with her!  I really didn't have a relationship with my mom(s) at her age, so it makes total sense that I don't know what to do with her!  At her age, I had a few close friends, and got out of the house as often as possible.  I hope she doesn't feel trapped here like I did!  That would break my heart.  I've decided that she needs to be involved in something outside of her bedroom!  Maybe, a job, or serving at church during the week.   There HAS to be something out there that interests her.  It seems that no matter what I ask her if she'd like to do, she isn't interested.  I have learned from other moms of girls her age, though, that she is following some kind of teenage trend.  Turns out she's not the only one who can play solitaire on the computer for hours on end.  Turns out she's not the only one who loves to read, and will sit with her nose in a book until she's finished with it.  Turns out she prefers not to do chores, and she plays with her hair in front of a mirror for fun.  She also enjoys putting make-up on, but that's where I draw the line.  To much eyeliner is NOT a good thing!  I see a difference in other kids her age who go to government school.  Let's just say it isn't pretty.  She's on a good path so far.  If we can stay on that path, and remember to God what He wants us to do, the we will be fine.  I try to keep the end in perspective.  I'm worried that I may be doing something wrong, and will in the end have ruined my childrens' lives.  I know in my heart, however, that I am doing what God wants me to do.  The easy thing would be to send my kids out on a school bus to school.  The hard way seems to me that it will have winning results in the end.  After all, aren't we, as parents, responsible for raising our children for Him?  If we are, how are they supposed to be trained to keep their eyes on God, if they are thrust in to the public school system.  I know I seem old, but I'm only 31.  I was in High School not that long ago.  Those days were fun, but I did things that God did not approve of, and would prefer not to have my children choosing between certain sins at such a young, impressionable, age. The thought of starting school again stresses me out!  I guess it's time to get started.  At this rate, maybe I'll be ready to start in mid October!

Smiley the Motivational Speaker

  Upon attempting sleep tonight, I flipped through the TV channels until I found something interesting.  No it wasn't a "reality" show, although I do enjoy a few of them!  I came upon who I call "Smiley".  I can't remember his name, but that shouldn't surprise those who know me.  He is a preacher of some type, but mostly just gives motivational talks.  I have to say, he is motivational, and makes me think about some things.  As he used words familiar to me, I did recognize that what he was teaching was not exactly what The Bible teaches.  His motivational speech was about connecting with the right people.  That hits home for me.  I do choose who I let into mine and my children's lives.  I don't choose their friends for them, necessarily, but I do choose my own.  I learned many years ago not to let my friends choose me, but rather I need to choose them.  With life being busy, and schedules crowded, I find it hard to see the people who I would most like to spend time with.  Smiley says not to open the door when that person who is always a downer comes around.  He makes it clear that we need to listen to them, and pray with them, but not let them get you down.  Have you ever met somebody who was a total "Debi Downer", and after each visit you feel depressed?!  I don't realize that Debi Downers have crept into my life, until I take a step back and look at the relationship.  I guess what I got out of his message.....was that Debi Downers have to go!  If I'm the Debi Downer in a relationship, then I have some changing to do myself!!  He also said that some relationships are just toxic.  They are toxic from the very beginning, and will never progress into a loving, uplifting, growing relationship.  A healthy relationship would consist of love, growth independently, with God, and then with each other.  A healthy relationship would make you excited when that friend is at your door, or calls.  I don't really think I have Debi Downers in my life.  I just don't have time for them.  I don't make time for them, and I have no desire to spend my time on this earth on them.  I hope I'm not a Debi Downer, and will look at my relationships to evaluate my fault on how my relationships are going.  So just for you, Debi Downer, I'm closing the door......go away!  I'll pray for you, but can not spend my time on this earth with you.  God has blessed so many of us with these beautiful families, and soooo much to be grateful for.  Time is to short to sit and sulk!  Smile....God loves U!............Joel Osteen is his name. Duh!

Keaton thinks he's adopted.....

Last week Keaton came to me and asked me if he was adopted.  Apparently, Brittany told him he was.  So, since I am the queen of sarcasm....I had to go along with it.  Hehehehehe!  Our conversation continued throughout the day, and even included the other kids being adopted.  Eventually, the end story was this: I found them on the side of the road.  Their mother lived in a cardboard box. She tried to sell them to me, but I was out of cash.  They all have different fathers, even though we think Keaton and Kayla are twins.  We think their mom ended up on American Idol. She looked like Snooki from Jersey Shore...they don't know who Snooki is, but they do know what the "Snooki Bump" is.  (Its a hair style).  So this was last week.  Last night I went to give Keaton his kiss goodnight, and the little stinker said he couldn't kiss me because I'm not his real mom!  Did he think I was serious?  I don't know, but he's a funny kid!  Such a blessing! 

I must confess....

   I must confess, I feel unworthy of this life sometimes.  We don't live in an extravagant house, or drive brand new vehicles, but life is pretty good.  I mean, most families need 2 incomes to make it.  We chose when our twins were born, to live on one income.  It's amazing beyond my comprehension how God has blessed us.  He blesses me everyday.  I love my husband.  I love these kids!  I love being able to Homeschool!  We are able to control what they learn and don't.  I'm able to be with them for all of those fun, and special moments.  Don't get me wrong, I still daydream about that big yellow bus, but life just doesn't get any better than this.  I know being "settled" and "content" are choices, but I also know God has done a great work in my heart.  Without His direction in my life, I don't know where I'd be today.  Where would these kids be?  What kind of people would they be?  I'm not sure. 

    I must confess, I enjoy cable tv, and all of its totally useless, time consuming shows.  About 90% of the time, the living room tv is on a kid station, but I still enjoy cartoons!  I would tell you what I watch, but.....you might look at me funny.

    I think I should confess, that I am in total LOVE with dachshunds.  Just FYI.  They are the cutest little dogs God ever made!

   One more confession, for those of you who don't know me to well...I try to sneak a nap in when nobody is looking.  Sometimes, I hide behind a mountain of laundry on my bed...sometimes I sneak off to one of the kids beds', and sometimes I just crash on the couch.  I can sleep with 4 kids, 3 dogs and Shane horsing around on the living room floor.  You'd think I get up early or something!  Haha!  I don't! 

  That's all of my confessions for today.  If I were Catholic, I'm sure I'd feel a lot better...but I'm not!

Division

So I looked up the word division in the dictionary, and this is how it is defined.

Division:  (noun)- something that divides or separates.
                           - the act or process of dividing. (which would make it a verb right?)
                           -separation by difference of opinion or feeling; disagreement; or dissension.

Division isn't something I deal with on a daily basis.  My life, is pretty normal.  I have a routine (well sort of!).  I deal with my kids and husband mostly, and only interact with a few friends, and our church.  I choose my friends carefully.  I'm not the type of person who gets close to everybody in the room.  It takes work to get to know me.  I'm not always the easiest person to deal with (quit acting surprised!). So when I was around the age of 12, I delt with middle school girls and boys who were not nice.  Middle school was a time of bullying, getting picked on, and gossiping.  It must be that age group.  I'm sure it wasn't just me!  So by the time high school came, I had a few friends that were close, but chose my friends carefully.  Middle school taught me that.  If you let your friends pick you, you'll end up being a follower.  That's not me!  God has taught me sooooo many lessons over the years.  And I'm only 31, so He's not done with me yet!  I haven't had to deal with grown women acting like twelve year olds in....oh about 18 years.  So when I encountered that recently, it was kind of shocking.  I didn't think grown women acted that way.  So, I've been a bit frustrated as to what to do.  Do I stay friends with people who act this way? Do I forgive them and move on? What if it keeps on happening?  How much of it is my fault? 

You know when you meet someone new, and you "click" with them, you feel all warm and fuzzy at the prospect of gaining a new friend?  What if you let your guard down, and tell that person things that you've been through, only to have them turn on you?  My first instinct is to drop them like a hot potato.  But what does Gods' word say about it? Here's what I've found:

  Romans 16:17-  Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences       contrary to the doctrine ye have learned;  and avoid them.

So I wouldn't literally "mark" a person, but I do know how to avoid them.  It is possible to work with someone, and still not be a close friend to them.  It's also possible to love a person from afar. (sometimes really FAR!)  There are those people who you just have to accept, and know that you cannot change.  I'm responsible to God for MY actions.  Not weather or not "Sally" approves of my actions or not.  Maybe "Sally" should look at herself, and her own sin instead of pointing the finger at others all the time.  Maybe other people aren't the problem.  Maybe its "Sally".  Hmmmm....just a thought;)

Define Friend.....again please!

Maybe the last time I wrote about what a true friend is, it wasn't clear.  So here is a clarification for any of you that might be confused (or paranoid).

Proverbs 26: 21-22 says, "As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.  The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly."

Proverbs 18:7  "A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul."

Proverbs 18:19-21 "A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.  A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.  Death and Life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it, shall eat the fruit thereof.

Galatians 5:13 "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another."

Psalm 15:1-2 "Lord, who shall abide  in thy tabernacle, who shall dwell in thy holy hill?  He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart."

1 Corinthians 13 describes the love I have for my friends. Its a great reference for love, and charity.  I memorized it as a child, and still have parts of it in my head today.  Thanks to that Grandma who worked with me during the summer on memorizing scripture.  I had no idea 23 years ago, that those words would indeed be hidden in my heart. She has blessed me in ways she doesn't even know.

This is my take on what a "friend" is.  I don't call a friend someone who tells you what you want to hear.  My closest friendships have been based on honesty.  Sometimes the truth hurts, sometimes it shouldn't be told, sometimes it shouldn't be asked for.  If you ask someone to tell you the truth of how they feel, and they do....is it then right to get mad with them?  Honesty shouldn't have negative consequences.  Our sins have consequences, but not a truthful heart.  So if you can't be honest with yourself, why ask me to be honest with you?  Especially, if you can't handle it.  A friend loveth at all times, but isn't perfect.   Last I read, man is sinful by nature, saved by Gods grace, and never perfect on this earth.  Even the friend who gives the advise isn't perfect. 

Is it summer yet?

So we've made it to April.  We took a couple of weeks off in March, and are getting back on track this week.  Every year, school starts out the same way.  In August, I'm all pumped up and excited about the new school year.  By Christmas, we enjoy a nice break, by February I'm done, and by April, I'm soooooo over school!!! So how do I keep up the momentum when I've lost all desire for school?  If we just take it one day at a time, we may finish by the middle of May.  That's only a month away!!!!  So do I need to buckle down at this point, or take it easy because we are near the end? 

I wonder if my kids are really learning anything at all?!  We only do a 4 day school week, because on Friday we go to Co-op classes with other homeschoolers.  So if I only have to be a teacher for 4 days a week, you'd think it was easy. 

Sometimes I daydream about the big yellow bus coming to pick up my kids and whisk them away to a fun-filled day of learning and friends.  But that's not reality.  Reality is that if that bus did come get my kids. It would be something like this:

6am..wake up
6:15...have a pop tart
6:30...get on the bus
7:15...get to school
7:45....start school
11:00...Lunch time
2:00..school dismisses
3:30..the big yellow bus comes to drop the kids off.
3:30-5:30..would be homework
6:00..dinner
7:00..clean up/shower
8:00..crashing in bed


That does NOT in anyway sound exciting to me!  We usually roll out of bed between 7:30 and 8:00.  The kids pick out what they would like for breakfast, and the short order cook (aka..mommy) fixes it.  They get dressed, brush teeth, watch a little cartoons, and about 9:00 we start school. At noon we break for lunch, and finish up anything left after.  That's it!  Nothing else!  We are free to play or visit with friends, or take naps......or whatever we want to do!  Much more exciting huh? 

I have to say, being burned out with school, compared to the alternative is one of Gods greatest blessings!  I'm lovin every day of it!

Monday's must love me!

   Monday's must love me, because it comes to visit every week.  There's never a Monday off, or Monday skipped, or even a half Monday.  I welcome it.  I look forward to it, but when it gets here, it seems to drag on FOREVER!!!!

   Monday's are usually filled with a busy school day...trying to get back on track.  Cleaning the house from top to bottom, because my rule is that there is to be no cleaning or cooking on the weekend. Maybe I suffer the consequences of weekend laziness on Monday's.  Everyday has its own "personality" . 

   Tuesday is finishing up what didn't get finished on Monday...
   Wednesday is the half way point for the week. We have church in the evening to look forward to.
   Thursday is the day before Friday, which makes it a great day!
   Friday, of course is FRIDAY! It means co-op classes for the kids, and that's about all!  Its a great day!
   Saturday is a day of relaxing and loafing around.  Maybe running some "errands". 
   Sunday is my day of rest.  Its Church, NAP, and Church again.  Its a great day, my absolute favorite  
   day of the week.  I do absolutely nothing!  I love it. 
   Then comes Monday.....and the work begins. 

   I bet I sound like a big pessimist.  I don't think I am!  Its funny how everyday of the week has its own personality.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a homeschool mom. I LOVE being with my kids ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, and I LOVE my husband for providing for our family both by being a fabulous father, and financially.  What a blessing it is to have each day to enjoy here in a home, with a quiver full of children!  I couldn't ask for anything more out of this life.  My heart is full, my days are busy, and I have a healthy family.  Thank You God, for these blessings!  I can't wait till Tuesday...because that means Monday is over!!

Being Offended is a choice.

   So, have you ever done something to "offend" somebody, only to find out that it wasn't you at all?  I had that happen a few months ago.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect.....well not always:0....(Oh yes I did)......but I do try to get along with the other ladies around me.  Not only did I go to this person and ask what I had done, I also met with her and another person to try to straighten things out.  Well that didn't go well!!!!  So needless to say, my desire to be friendly with this person has completely faded away.  I was hurt at first, and tried to apologize, but she didn't want to hear it.  My conclusion is that some people are just bully's.  I refuse to be one.

    I'm not a mean girl.  I'm not out to destroy others.  If you don't like me, that's your choice, but you could at least be truthful and let me know why.  I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack, but I'm not the dullest either.  I really don't like being treated like a dummy.  I learned a long time ago, that you have to pick your friends.  You can not let them pick you.  Who you hang around is who you become.  I've also learned that there are wolves in sheep's clothing.  You know....those people who you can see straight through.  Or those who you meet, and "something" (the Holy Spirit) tells you that they aren't being genuine with you.  Well I think I may have learned the hard way that I need to listen to the Holy Spirit.  I thought it was just my "gut" telling me there was a problem.  Now I know that it wasn't my gut at all.  It was the Holy Spirit telling me to be careful.

    Even when a person looks positive, and they seem to be a strong Christian, they are still sinful.  We all are no matter how good our intentions are.  I refuse to be known as a "catty" lady.  You won't find me spending my free time with those who use "prayer" as a form of gossip.  You can't hide gossip by saying "So and so did this, so pray for her."  Don't try to make yourself look more spiritual by using God as crutch.  Be honest and upfront about who you are, and how you aren't perfect.  Stop pointing fingers at all the people around you, and look at yourself.  Maybe the reason you have so much conflict with people EVERYWHERE is because you are the problem.  Ever think about that?  So if you think there is something about a person that "just feels wrong", it might be the Holy Spirit telling you to be cautious.

    I have way to much going on in my own family to be concerned with such petty things.  God has blessed me with a wonderful family.  I just choose not to spend my time with women who will bring me down.  I need to live up to the mother and wife that God wants me to be, not who YOU think I should be.

Define Friend.....

What exactly is a friend?  Is it someone who only comes around when you have a "crisis"?  Is it someone who you talk to every day, but dosn't have your best interest at heart?  Is it someone who will tell you that you're a wonderful, perfect person and can do no wrong?  What does it take to be a good "friend"?  Am I a good friend if I dump out any medications that might cause you to relaps?  Am I a good friend if I dump out all of your alcohol?  As your friend, I have a responsibility to God to make sure you stay on the straight and narrow.  I wouldn't want you as a friend if you helped me destroy myself, or told me I was perfect.  Tell me straight up.  Give me the truth.  I can handle it.  I'm a big girl!  Keep me in line.  Those friends are the ones who last.  So don't come in and enable my sin.  I can do that just fine by myself.  Do what you know how to do to keep me on Gods' path.  I'll love you more for it in the long run.

Who cleans at 2 am?

Really, who does that?  Is there any sane person out there that really cleans in the middle of the night?  Well put me on the list of crazies who do.  Keaton and I had a 24 hour stomach bug yesterday.  Praise God, it seems to be gone today, but I'm still a little uneasy.  Him and I slept most of yesterday, thanks to my mom taking care of the other kids.  I woke up at 2 this morning because Sally, our dachshund wanted to go outside. For some reason my I was suddenly starving...I guess thats what happens when you don't eat for a day.  All I could find in the fridge was some potato salad, and ooooo was it good!  I gobbled that up, and looked around my bedroom to see laundry, and dog junk all over the floor.  So what did I do?  I turned on the light, got the mop, and cleaned my bedroom.  This morning I awoke to a nice clean room.   I think I may try this 2 am crazy cleaning thing again!

Ice Skating is for the birds!

   So today we had a fieldtrip.  WE went ice skating.  I use the word "WE" liberally here!  The kids had a blast.  Even Brittany did one lap!  Keaton was the real suprise.  He loved it, and went around several times.  Kayla did ok, and had fun.  But Michael was soooooo funny!  It took him a good 20 minutes to get all the way around the ice once.  Then he was tired and begged to take the skates off.  The pics tell it all!!  Since Gramma came to live with us, she is forced to participate in fieldtrips too.......so she went Iceskating.  She was so funny!  She made it 1/3 of the way around, and had to stop and sit down...soooo funny!  At this moment she's in bed, sore already, and will surley be paying for the forced fun for a few days!

   Did I forget to mention myself?  Well, I didn't skate!!!!!!  That's the best part!  I got to sit back and laugh at my family looking totally ridiculious.  It was a great fieldtrip!   Oh the adventures we have;)

Teenager's are like aliens

 When my baby Brittany turned 13, she morphed into a strange creature.  She suddenly wanted to be left alone.  I lost being "cool" years ago, but nobody prepared me for what was to come.  This year she turned 14.  Its a roller coaster ride, I must say.  I think I'd like to jump off, and get back on when she's 20ish!  Please tell me it gets better......She's so much like me.

  I was young when she was born.  I was "in love" and couldn't be stopped.  I was on my own roller coaster ride.  She came into this world with no hair, no direction manual, and totally dependant on me.  It was love at first sight.  I had no idea this little person growing in me at age 17 would completely change the direction of my life.  I know God had great plans for me, if I followed his rules.  I decided though that I would rather do things my way.  She's so much like me!

  I see myself in her everyday.  I have prayed she would turn out different than me.  I thought if I could just protect her from the monsters out there, she would be okay. She's stubborn, hard headed, strong willed, determined, sarcastic, funny, beautiful, sweet, kind, and thoughtful...a lot like me;)

  This week I had a reality check.  Not that I don't live in reality with 4 kids, but I got a good dose of my own medicine.  When I was 14, I did some things I am not proud of.  Nothing to serious, but mischievous, nonetheless.  I do think she's on a much better path than I was at that age, but then again she's had a lot of worldly things hidden from her.  She's let me down.  It makes me sad.  It makes me wonder what we are doing wrong.  We live a pretty conservative life.  No cable TV, only "E" rated games, homeschooling, reading our Bibles, active in a Bible believing Baptist church, semi active with other homeschoolers, and trying to train our kids to love and serve God.  What are we missing?  Are we....or am I leaving something out?  What can I do better? 

  I can only pray that she follows Gods path for her life.  It would be so sad to see her life changed by a dumb decision.  But that's all it takes.  One choice can totally change the direction of our lives.  Life is so much easier when we do things Gods way.  Its less painful.  We have less baggage.  Our hearts can be pure and clean, and without blemish or regret. 

  One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Jeremiah 33:3.  It says,"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not."  I am constantly finding ways to apply this verse to my life.  I love it because it has taught me that if I pray and ask God for help, he will answer me.  The answer may not always be what I want to hear, but it is ALWAYS what I need to hear. He's shown me things that I wouldn't have seen if I hadn't asked Him for help.  God ALWAYS answers my prayers......even that one I prayed at 16.  Laying in my bed I prayed like I had never prayed before asking God to please not let me be pregnant. Well he answered my prayer with a positive pregnancy test!  It was still an answer, just not the one I was counting on.  My sin had consequences.  Getting back on His path helped heal.  Time helped heal.  Asking for forgiveness helped heal.  Accepting his forgiveness really helped heal! 

  What a blessing she turned out to be!  I guess I'll strap my seat belt on for this ride!  Its just begun, but thank God for it!  And she did come with a manual afterall...its called a Bible!  Thank God, I've learned to use it!

Sick on Sunday

  So I've been thinking about this whole "blog" thing for a while.  Its not that I have nothing better to do, but it may be a good way for me to share with friends our lives.

  Wouldn't you know it that the first year we don't get our Flu Shots, I would get a reality check.  I just KNEW that Kayla had the flu.  Some other kids at our church have it, and yesterday a neighbor called  to tell me another little friend had it.  Well PRAISE GOD, Kayla woke up this morning feeling much better, and eating.  I, however, now have it, but am sooooo glad it is just a virus.  I was really getting worried. 

Our "routine" for Sunday consists of Church, nap and more Church!  It's my favorite day of the week.  I don't clean, or cook, or really do anything except rest and go to church.  So this morning we stayed home since I was convinced we had the flu.  It has really messed up my day!  I am all out of sorts, not feeling well, and just know I missed something important at church.  Its funny that if you miss just one service, you get all out of the loop!  I missed my Sunday School class this morning.  They are a great start to Sunday mornings.  So I think I'll go get back on track and take a nap! At least I started this thing, so it's one less thing I just keep wanting to do.  Thanks to my friend Molly, who makes me cry or laugh at all of her blogs! I love her!